Since I feel shafted that “rocket surgery” took off unattributed, I propose the following terms:
It appears that the Canadians are experimenting with protomatter. Just look at this video:
It’s obvious now that they are trying to create a Genesis Device in an attempt to terraform the moon.
Schematics to follow…
1. Take apart the message of the Microsoft Sync commercials: “If you use our product, you will become a hazard to yourself and others due to your own idiocy”
2. The Love Guru - Mike Myers will forever be Austin Powers. Despite hiding himself as a computer-animated ogre for so long, one look at him trying to play some character in real life and the ’shag-a-delic’ grooviness comes right back.
If you put a ridiculous prop mustache on Justin Timberlake, he unexpectedly looks a whole hell of a lot like Orlando Bloom. This is not surprising — Orlando Bloom looks ridiculous all the time, with or without a mustache.
I guess I’m just perpetuating the sensalionalism, but…
The salesgenie.com ads during the Super Bowl were incredibly racist. They actually reminded me of spots I’d seen from the 50s and 60s, prior to political correctness.
AND THEY WERE INTENTIONALLY BAD! If it wasn’t so brilliant, I’d be really angry!
But they were still racist (even considering that they could be considered self-deprecating), so it’s tough to know how to feel. All I know is that I’m not gonna go to salesgenie.com.
I got the DVD Box set for Sports Night for Christmas about four years ago. Every Winter (and sometimes throughout the year) I revisit the DVDs. Here are a few quotes — ones I thought either funny or meaningful enough to write down:
[Neil Finn - She Will Have Her Way ; Featured in the second season as a theme element for Casey's love of Dana]
DANA: This is the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life!
ISAAC: Well, then you gotta live more, Dana, ’cause there’s some crazy-ass stuff out there.
JEREMY: Because women don’t have special
powers! Let’s dispense with that theory right now. Women don’t have a
sixth sense. Women don’t have intuition. Women don’t have special
powers!
Dan: You don’t have a rep. You don’t have street cred. Your last date was 14 years ago and you ended up with a marriage and a divorce.
CASEY: You have a crush on Hilary Clinton.
DAN: I carry a torch for her, yes.
CASEY: Hey, you’re talkin’ about the woman whose first date with me I’m planning.
(Pause.)
CASEY: That was some pretty interesting grammar
NATALIE: Is there a number?
CASEY: What?
NATALIE: Is there a set number of women?
CASEY: I don’t know.
NATALIE: ‘Cause if there’s a set number of women, maybe you could just get ‘em out of the way, bing bam boom.
CASEY: Bing bam boom?
NATALIE: That was me getting women out of the way really fast.
DAN: Boned and de-boned mean the same thing.
DAN: There’s such a word as disheveled, but “sheveled” is nowhere to be found in the dictionary.
CASEY: The show’s important, but first things first: There are bagels on that table.
SAM: Do you guys know who Philo Farnsworth was? He invented television. I don’t mean he invented television like Uncle Milty, I mean he invented the television. In a little house in Provo, Utah. At a time when the idea of transmitting moving pictures through the air would be like me saying I’ve figured out a way to beam us aboard the Starship Enterprise. He was a visionary and he died broke and without fanfare. The guy I really like though was his brother-in-law, Cliff Gardner. He said to Philo, “I know everyone thinks you’re crazy, but I want to be a part of this. I don’t have your head for science, so I’m not gonna be much help with the design and mechanics of the invention. But it sounds like in order to do your testing, you’re gonna need glass tubes.” See Philo was inventing a cathode receptor, and even though Cliff didn’t know what that meant or how it worked, he’d seen Philo’s drawing and he knew they were gonna need glass tubes and since television hadn’t been invented yet, it’s not like you could get ‘em at the local TV repair shop.”I want to be a part of this”, Cliff said, “and I don’t have your head for science. How would it be if I taught myself to be a glassblower? And I could set up a little shop in the backyard. And I could make all the tubes you’ll need for testing.” There oughta be Congressional medals for people like that.
JEREMY: We will run a test.
NATALIE: Listen to this.
DANA: What kind of test?
NATALIE: A KY test.
JEREMY: Y2K.
DAN: Don’t you think she’s wrong if she thinks that?
CASEY: Listen, McMurphy, if it were up to me I’d let you and the big Indian out of the hospital, but–
DAN: Hey, let’s just hold on to our horses here. I may not be a framed
picture of mental health, but Doctor Girl’s got another thing coming if
she think I’m gonna go lie on her couch and, you know, talk to her.
Thought you’d enjoy the quotes.
Click here for printer-friendly Google Doc
If you (and possibly your friends and/or family) like to watch the show House, M.D. and guess the diagnosis, then you might enjoy the House home game. Check it out!
